The other day, I made a silly mistake—nothing major, just one of those moments where you shake your head at yourself. Without thinking, I muttered, “Ugh, I’m so stupid,” under my breath. I didn’t even realize I’d said it out loud until my daughter looked at me and said, “Mom, why are you being so mean to yourself?”

Her words stopped me in my tracks. I always encourage her to be kind to herself, to practice self-care and self-love. But here I was, modeling the exact opposite. It was an eye-opening moment—I hadn’t even noticed how harsh I was being with myself.

It made me realize that self-care isn’t just about bubble baths or taking breaks. True self-love is about how we talk to ourselves, especially when we mess up. Our teens are watching and listening, even when we think they aren’t.

June feels like a whirlwind, doesn't it? The end-of-school chaos is real — the kind that fills the calendar, clutters the kitchen counter with invitations, diplomas, and college paperwork, and fills your heart with a tangled mix of pride, awe, and...something else you can’t quite name.

This year feels especially big. Two of mine are heading off to college in the fall. Huge milestones. Life-changing transitions. For them and for me.

It’s the kind of season that makes you pause in the middle of folding laundry or cleaning out the car and think: How did we get here so fast? It’s beautiful, it’s messy, it’s emotional. It’s the happy chaos of letting go a little — or maybe a lot — and stepping into a new phase of parenting.

And here’s the truth I keep coming back to: parenting starts to look different now. It’s less about managing the day-to-day and more about holding space. It’s less “do your homework” and more “I’m here if you need to talk.” It’s watching them take the reins, stumble, thrive, and figure out who they are out in the world.

Raising teens can stretch you like nothing else. One minute you’re answering deep life questions over late-night snacks, the next you’re trying not to lose it over eye rolls and slammed doors. It’s intense, raw, and beautiful—and it has a way of bringing your own stuff to the surface.

That’s why one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids—especially our teens—is our own healing.

Yes, the practical things matter: being involved, setting boundaries, driving them to practice, helping with homework. But underneath it all, the way we show up emotionally and mentally creates the atmosphere they grow up in.

When we do the work to heal—whether that’s addressing old wounds from our own childhoods, working through anxiety or perfectionism, or breaking free from unhelpful patterns—we stop handing our pain down. We give our kids a better version of us.

For me, one of the patterns I had to confront was my tendency to go silent when I was upset. I thought I was being calm, maybe even mature, by not saying anything in the heat of the moment. But what I’ve come to realize is that silence can feel like disconnection—and that disconnection can be just as loud as yelling.

It’s that time of year. Sunshine is showing up more often, the countdown to summer is on every whiteboard, and motivation is melting faster than a popsicle in July.

If you’ve got a high schooler—senior or not—chances are you’ve seen the signs: homework half-done, study habits slipping, and an overall vibe of “do I really have to?” You might think this kind of burnout is reserved for seniors, but let’s be real: end-of-year fatigue is an equal opportunity mood.

This season is a strange mix of exhaustion and celebration. The stakes feel high, but so do the hopes. And in between the eye rolls and late-night cramming and half-hearted goodbyes, there’s this wild, beautiful chance to help our teens build resilience and joy. We get to guide them not just toward a finish line, but toward becoming the kind of people who know how to keep going when things feel hard—and still find a way to laugh, connect, and live it up along the way.

So how do we help our teens stay the course, finish strong, and still enjoy these fleeting, memory-rich days of the school year?

Have you ever found yourself refreshing Life360 like it’s breaking news?
Or maybe you’ve played out every possible “what if” scenario in your head before your teen even pulls out of the driveway?

Yeah. Me too.

There’s a fine line between being a caring, attentive parent and being consumed by worry. And when that line gets blurry, it can start to take a toll—not just on our teens, but on us.

Are You Consumed With Worry?

Let’s be real: parenting teens is not for the faint of heart. They’re out in the world more. They’re making choices—some wise, some… learning opportunities. And our mama (or papa) hearts can feel like they’re being pulled in a hundred directions 💔.

We worry about their safety, their friends, their choices, their mental health, their driving, their phones, their future…
We check apps, track phones, scroll through texts, and lose sleep—because we love them.

But somewhere along the way, worry can take over.
And when that happens, we don’t just lose sleep—we start to lose joy 🌅.

Parenting teens comes with a unique and sometimes heartbreaking challenge: the realization that, at times, you will disappoint them. It’s inevitable. Whether it’s walking out of a store with your daughter disappointed because you decided not to buy her an uber-expensive prom dress, or telling your son that even though he doesn’t want to work his current summer job anymore, he needs to stick with it until he finds a new one, there will be moments when your teen looks at you with frustration, sadness, or even anger. And that feeling—the one that sits heavy in your chest, the one that makes you second-guess yourself—is the weight of disappointment. It’s inevitable. Whether it’s saying no to a party, or to buying their 20th Chipotle bowl this month, or refusing to buy them that trendy new thing that “everyone else has,” there will be moments when your teen looks at you with frustration, sadness, or even anger. And that feeling—the one that sits heavy in your chest, the one that makes you second-guess yourself—is the weight of disappointment.

But here’s the truth: we are no longer the fixers of their world but the guides through it. And sometimes, guiding them means letting them experience discomfort, frustration, or even sadness.

Parenting teenagers is a wild mix of holding on and letting go. We want to protect them from heartache, mistakes, and bad decisions, but we also know that real growth only happens when they step out and experience life on their own terms. It’s the art of allowing—allowing them to adventure, to fail, to try new things without us parents hovering too closely, trying to control every outcome. And let me tell you, it’s hard.

The other night, my teen came home, barely mumbled a “hey,” and disappeared into her room. No hug, no conversation—just straight to her room and door closed.

Immediately, my mind went to She’s being rude. What did I do? Is she mad at me? My feelings started spiraling—I felt unappreciated, maybe even a little hurt.

But then I caught myself. Wait… what if this isn’t about me?

That tiny pause changed everything.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

It’s wild how quickly our minds jump to conclusions. As parents, we’re constantly interpreting our teen’s behavior, and a lot of times, we assume the worst.

• They’re moody? They don’t respect me.

• They’re on their phone at dinner? They don’t care about family time.

• They don’t say “thank you”? They’re ungrateful.

But here’s the thing—these are just thoughts. Not facts. They feel real, but they’re just stories we tell ourselves.

And when we believe those stories without questioning them, we react in ways that push our teens further away.

Parenting teens is hard, isn’t it? It can feel like you’re constantly walking a tightrope—balancing between guiding them and wanting to be close to them. I’ve been there, caught in that cycle of nagging, correcting, and harping on the things they’re not doing right. And you know what? It’s exhausting—for both of us.

But here’s something I’ve learned (the hard way): focusing on the negatives doesn’t bring us closer. In fact, it pushes them away. And deep down, all I want is a connection that lasts beyond these teenage years.

Why Harping Backfires

I’ve noticed that when I harp on my teens about their mistakes, they shut down. They get defensive, pull away, or worse, feel like they’re not enough. It breaks my heart to see that happen. No one likes to feel like they’re constantly being criticized—least of all our teens, who are already trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in the world.

The start of a new year often feels like the turning of a fresh page. It’s the perfect opportunity to reflect on what’s working, what’s not, and where we want to focus our energy. For those of us raising teens, 2025 can be the year we double down on building meaningful connections with our kids.

But here’s the thing: building connection isn’t about grand gestures or perfect parenting. It’s about consistency, intention, and showing up in ways that matter most to them. If you’re ready to gain momentum in your relationship with your teen this year, here are some steps to help you move forward:

Start Where You Are

It’s easy to look back and feel regret about moments we’ve missed or conversations we’ve avoided. But building connection isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present. Wherever you and your teen are right now, start there. Acknowledge the good and be honest about areas you want to improve.