It’s that time of year. Sunshine is showing up more often, the countdown to summer is on every whiteboard, and motivation is melting faster than a popsicle in July.

If you’ve got a high schooler—senior or not—chances are you’ve seen the signs: homework half-done, study habits slipping, and an overall vibe of “do I really have to?” You might think this kind of burnout is reserved for seniors, but let’s be real: end-of-year fatigue is an equal opportunity mood.

This season is a strange mix of exhaustion and celebration. The stakes feel high, but so do the hopes. And in between the eye rolls and late-night cramming and half-hearted goodbyes, there’s this wild, beautiful chance to help our teens build resilience and joy. We get to guide them not just toward a finish line, but toward becoming the kind of people who know how to keep going when things feel hard—and still find a way to laugh, connect, and live it up along the way.

So how do we help our teens stay the course, finish strong, and still enjoy these fleeting, memory-rich days of the school year?

Have you ever found yourself refreshing Life360 like it’s breaking news?
Or maybe you’ve played out every possible “what if” scenario in your head before your teen even pulls out of the driveway?

Yeah. Me too.

There’s a fine line between being a caring, attentive parent and being consumed by worry. And when that line gets blurry, it can start to take a toll—not just on our teens, but on us.

Are You Consumed With Worry?

Let’s be real: parenting teens is not for the faint of heart. They’re out in the world more. They’re making choices—some wise, some… learning opportunities. And our mama (or papa) hearts can feel like they’re being pulled in a hundred directions 💔.

We worry about their safety, their friends, their choices, their mental health, their driving, their phones, their future…
We check apps, track phones, scroll through texts, and lose sleep—because we love them.

But somewhere along the way, worry can take over.
And when that happens, we don’t just lose sleep—we start to lose joy 🌅.

Parenting teens comes with a unique and sometimes heartbreaking challenge: the realization that, at times, you will disappoint them. It’s inevitable. Whether it’s walking out of a store with your daughter disappointed because you decided not to buy her an uber-expensive prom dress, or telling your son that even though he doesn’t want to work his current summer job anymore, he needs to stick with it until he finds a new one, there will be moments when your teen looks at you with frustration, sadness, or even anger. And that feeling—the one that sits heavy in your chest, the one that makes you second-guess yourself—is the weight of disappointment. It’s inevitable. Whether it’s saying no to a party, or to buying their 20th Chipotle bowl this month, or refusing to buy them that trendy new thing that “everyone else has,” there will be moments when your teen looks at you with frustration, sadness, or even anger. And that feeling—the one that sits heavy in your chest, the one that makes you second-guess yourself—is the weight of disappointment.

But here’s the truth: we are no longer the fixers of their world but the guides through it. And sometimes, guiding them means letting them experience discomfort, frustration, or even sadness.

Parenting teenagers is a wild mix of holding on and letting go. We want to protect them from heartache, mistakes, and bad decisions, but we also know that real growth only happens when they step out and experience life on their own terms. It’s the art of allowing—allowing them to adventure, to fail, to try new things without us parents hovering too closely, trying to control every outcome. And let me tell you, it’s hard.

The other night, my teen came home, barely mumbled a “hey,” and disappeared into her room. No hug, no conversation—just straight to her room and door closed.

Immediately, my mind went to She’s being rude. What did I do? Is she mad at me? My feelings started spiraling—I felt unappreciated, maybe even a little hurt.

But then I caught myself. Wait… what if this isn’t about me?

That tiny pause changed everything.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

It’s wild how quickly our minds jump to conclusions. As parents, we’re constantly interpreting our teen’s behavior, and a lot of times, we assume the worst.

• They’re moody? They don’t respect me.

• They’re on their phone at dinner? They don’t care about family time.

• They don’t say “thank you”? They’re ungrateful.

But here’s the thing—these are just thoughts. Not facts. They feel real, but they’re just stories we tell ourselves.

And when we believe those stories without questioning them, we react in ways that push our teens further away.

Parenting teens is hard, isn’t it? It can feel like you’re constantly walking a tightrope—balancing between guiding them and wanting to be close to them. I’ve been there, caught in that cycle of nagging, correcting, and harping on the things they’re not doing right. And you know what? It’s exhausting—for both of us.

But here’s something I’ve learned (the hard way): focusing on the negatives doesn’t bring us closer. In fact, it pushes them away. And deep down, all I want is a connection that lasts beyond these teenage years.

Why Harping Backfires

I’ve noticed that when I harp on my teens about their mistakes, they shut down. They get defensive, pull away, or worse, feel like they’re not enough. It breaks my heart to see that happen. No one likes to feel like they’re constantly being criticized—least of all our teens, who are already trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in the world.

The start of a new year often feels like the turning of a fresh page. It’s the perfect opportunity to reflect on what’s working, what’s not, and where we want to focus our energy. For those of us raising teens, 2025 can be the year we double down on building meaningful connections with our kids.

But here’s the thing: building connection isn’t about grand gestures or perfect parenting. It’s about consistency, intention, and showing up in ways that matter most to them. If you’re ready to gain momentum in your relationship with your teen this year, here are some steps to help you move forward:

Start Where You Are

It’s easy to look back and feel regret about moments we’ve missed or conversations we’ve avoided. But building connection isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being present. Wherever you and your teen are right now, start there. Acknowledge the good and be honest about areas you want to improve.

When you hear the word "influencer," your mind might jump to social media personalities with millions of followers, carefully curated feeds, and viral hashtags. But what if I told you that you—yes, you—are an influencer of the highest order? You may not have a massive online audience, but the impact you make as a parent is far greater than any trending reel or viral tweet.

Your sphere of influence is your teen, and whether you realize it or not, your words, actions, and attitudes are shaping the person they are becoming. You might not make headlines, but the influence you wield is felt deeply and daily.

One Simple Way to Connect With Your Teens This Holiday Season

The holiday season can feel like a whirlwind, but it’s also the perfect time to connect with your teens—without overcomplicating things. If there’s one thing you can do to strengthen your bond this season, it’s this: spend intentional, one-on-one time together.

It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate. A late-night drive to see holiday lights, baking cookies, or even a cozy chat over hot chocolate can create meaningful moments. What matters most is showing your teens that you’re fully present and value time with them.

For me, I’ve learned that each of my three teens connects in their own way. One might love chatting during a walk, while another prefers a movie night on the couch, and the third lights up at the idea of baking something together. The common thread? Being present and sharing moments that let them know they’re seen, heard, and loved.

So this holiday season, step away from the chaos and find one small way to share quality time with each of your teens. It’s a simple gift that will leave a lasting impression.

How will you spend time with your teens this season?

I’ve been there—watching my teen give up on something so quickly that it feels like they barely even tried. It’s frustrating and, honestly, a little heartbreaking. As a parent, I just want to step in, shake them, and say, “You’re better than this! Just keep going!” But deep down, I know that approach won’t work.

What I’ve realized is that it’s not really about the task they’re abandoning. It’s about how they see themselves in that moment—overwhelmed, unsure, maybe even scared. My role as their parent isn’t to force them to succeed or solve the problem for them. It’s to help them believe that they can succeed, that they’re capable of handling tough moments, and that failure is just part of the process.

It’s not easy to watch them struggle, but I remind myself that these struggles are how they grow. And even when they give up (and I feel like giving up on encouraging them), I want them to know I’ll always be in their corner, ready to help them try again.