reveal the real: why your teen needs the true you

There’s this quiet pressure that many of us parents carry—especially as our kids become teens. We want to show up “strong.” We want to have the answers. We want to be the steady one when the teenage waves roll in. But sometimes, in trying to be the perfect parent, we end up hiding our most powerful gift: our real selves.

Your teen doesn’t need a polished, always-positive, never-shaken version of you.

They need you.

The real you. The one who sometimes struggles, the one who worries, the one who’s learning right alongside them.

Revealing the real means being honest—not about every detail of your life—but about your humanity. It might sound like:

• “I get nervous about change too sometimes.”
  

• “When I was your age, I remember feeling that same pressure.”
  

• “I don’t have the perfect answer, but I’m here to figure it out with you.”
  

When you open up, even just a little, you create space for your teen to do the same. You model that being real is safe. That vulnerability is not weakness—but connection.

This week, I’ve been sitting with a powerful truth from one of my favorite books, Worthy by Jamie Kern Lima:

“We think we need to show up as an edited version of ourselves to be worthy of love, when in fact it’s the opposite. If you are not the real you, it’s impossible to have the deepest, truest love.”

That hit me hard—not just as a woman, but as a mom. Because the same applies to our relationship with our teens. If we’re hiding, protecting, or pretending… they can’t connect with the real us.

It takes courage to show up as who you really are. It’s a daily practice and a lifelong quest. One risk, one real moment at a time.

But here's the good news: the path to love and connection is to reveal the real.

So the next time you feel the urge to mask, control, or gloss over—pause. Ask yourself:

“What would it look like to just be real here?”

That one shift might be the key to opening the door to deeper trust, better communication, and more connection with your teen.

Because when you reveal the real, you give your teen permission to do the same. And that, my friend, is where the magic lives.

👉 Click [here]  to schedule a free discovery session or reach out to me directly at carinrassiercoaching@gmail.com. 

Together, we can help your teen feel safe being their true self—and you feel confident leading with yours. 💛