is your teen blocking friendships without even realizing it?
Have you ever found yourself wondering why your teen seems to cycle through friend groups—always starting hopeful, but somehow ending up alone or on the outside looking in?
Maybe they keep landing in the "mean group" and eventually get pushed out. Maybe they're the ones doing the pushing. Or maybe they just seem to give up on friendships altogether. As a parent, it's easy to assume it's just teen drama, but what if there’s more going on beneath the surface?
Sometimes, teens sabotage friendships without even realizing it. And while the behavior might look like moodiness, ghosting, gossip, or drama—it could actually be a sign of something deeper: not feeling comfortable in their own skin or not feeling worthy of being treated well.
When You Don’t Feel Worthy, You Settle for Less
If a teen doesn’t believe they deserve kindness or acceptance, they’ll gravitate toward relationships that reinforce those beliefs. That might mean staying close to people who are controlling, critical, or emotionally distant. It might mean keeping others at arm's length out of fear they’ll leave anyway. Or it might look like lashing out first—before someone else gets the chance.
Insecurity can show up in strange ways:
Constantly switching friends
Playing the chameleon to fit in
Being overly critical of others
Letting themselves be mistreated and calling it “normal”
Believing that closeness = danger
Sometimes, pushing people away feels safer than risking rejection.
What Can You Do as a Parent?
Here’s the tricky part: this usually isn’t something your teen will say out loud. They might not even realize what’s happening. But as a parent, you can help by staying curious instead of judgmental.
Try asking questions like:
“What do you like about your friends? What don’t you like?”
“Do you feel like you can be fully yourself around your friends?”
“Do you ever worry about being left out or not fitting in?”
“What does a good friend look like to you?”
The goal isn't to fix it right away, but to open the door for honest conversation. When teens start understanding their own worth, their friendships begin to shift too. They stop chasing approval and start seeking connection. And that’s when the real magic happens.
If your teen is struggling in friendships, it might be more than just teen drama. It might be a quiet inner battle around worthiness and identity. Helping them understand their value—independent of what any friend group says—is one of the most powerful gifts you can give.
Because when a teen feels truly at home in their own skin, they stop blocking the friendships they’ve been craving all along.
👉 Is your teen struggling with friendships? I’d love to talk.
Click [here] to schedule a free discovery session or reach out directly at carinrassiercoaching@gmail.com.
