when my teen taught me about self-love
The other day, I made a silly mistake—nothing major, just one of those moments where you shake your head at yourself. Without thinking, I muttered, “Ugh, I’m so stupid,” under my breath. I didn’t even realize I’d said it out loud until my daughter looked at me and said, “Mom, why are you being so mean to yourself?”
Her words stopped me in my tracks. I always encourage her to be kind to herself, to practice self-care and self-love. But here I was, modeling the exact opposite. It was an eye-opening moment—I hadn’t even noticed how harsh I was being with myself.
It made me realize that self-care isn’t just about bubble baths or taking breaks. True self-love is about how we talk to ourselves, especially when we mess up. Our teens are watching and listening, even when we think they aren’t.
Simple Ways to Foster Self-Love (For Both of Us)
Watch Your Words: Notice when you’re being hard on yourself and gently reframe it. Instead of “I’m so stupid,” try, “I made a mistake, and that’s okay.”
Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results: Focus on what you tried, not just what you achieved. Praise effort and courage, for both you and your teen.
Share Gratitude: Make it a habit to share one thing you like about yourself each day.
Normalize Imperfection: Remind each other that everyone messes up. Mistakes help us grow.
Model Self-Compassion: When you catch yourself being harsh, acknowledge it and try again. Show that self-love is a practice, not perfection.
Sometimes, our kids are the best teachers. By learning together, we’re both growing a little kinder—to ourselves and to each other.
How do you show self-love in your family? I’d love to hear your stories.
If you’re ready to help your teen (and yourself) build lasting self-love and confidence, let’s connect! As a teen mindset coach, I offer tools and support to help families grow stronger from the inside out. Reach out today to start your journey.
