There’s this quiet pressure that many of us parents carry—especially as our kids become teens. We want to show up “strong.” We want to have the answers. We want to be the steady one when the teenage waves roll in. But sometimes, in trying to be the perfect parent, we end up hiding our most powerful gift: our real selves.

Your teen doesn’t need a polished, always-positive, never-shaken version of you.

They need you.

The real you. The one who sometimes struggles, the one who worries, the one who’s learning right alongside them.

When you open up, even just a little, you create space for your teen to do the same. You model that being real is safe. That vulnerability is not weakness—but connection.

It takes courage to show up as who you really are. It’s a daily practice and a lifelong quest. One risk, one real moment at a time.

But here's the good news: the path to love and connection is to reveal the real.

One of the most powerful truths we can teach our teens is this:
We can only feel truly loved when we’re being our true selves.

As parents, we want our kids to feel loved, safe, and accepted. But in a world full of pressure to perform, fit in, and meet expectations, our teens often end up hiding parts of themselves just to feel "good enough." And sometimes, if we’re honest, we unintentionally reinforce that pattern.

Maybe it’s in the way we celebrate their achievements more than their efforts. Or how we try to protect them from making mistakes by steering them toward what feels “safe.” It’s all well-intentioned—but it can send the message that love is tied to performance, behavior, or success.

And that leaves them asking a painful question:
“Would they still love me if they saw the real me?”

Let’s be real: the words self-care and self-love are everywhere right now. And while they sound similar—and are often used interchangeably—they're not the same. Especially for parents and teens navigating the emotional rollercoaster of adolescence (and parenting), understanding the difference can be a game-changer.

Teens are watching how we care for ourselves and how we talk to ourselves. If we run ourselves ragged and only prioritize “doing” without the deeper belief that we are worthy of care, they notice. And if we constantly criticize ourselves, they notice that too (believe me, my daughter called me out on this recently).

The other day, I made a silly mistake—nothing major, just one of those moments where you shake your head at yourself. Without thinking, I muttered, “Ugh, I’m so stupid,” under my breath. I didn’t even realize I’d said it out loud until my daughter looked at me and said, “Mom, why are you being so mean to yourself?”

Her words stopped me in my tracks. I always encourage her to be kind to herself, to practice self-care and self-love. But here I was, modeling the exact opposite. It was an eye-opening moment—I hadn’t even noticed how harsh I was being with myself.

It made me realize that self-care isn’t just about bubble baths or taking breaks. True self-love is about how we talk to ourselves, especially when we mess up. Our teens are watching and listening, even when we think they aren’t.

June feels like a whirlwind, doesn't it? The end-of-school chaos is real — the kind that fills the calendar, clutters the kitchen counter with invitations, diplomas, and college paperwork, and fills your heart with a tangled mix of pride, awe, and...something else you can’t quite name.

This year feels especially big. Two of mine are heading off to college in the fall. Huge milestones. Life-changing transitions. For them and for me.

It’s the kind of season that makes you pause in the middle of folding laundry or cleaning out the car and think: How did we get here so fast? It’s beautiful, it’s messy, it’s emotional. It’s the happy chaos of letting go a little — or maybe a lot — and stepping into a new phase of parenting.

And here’s the truth I keep coming back to: parenting starts to look different now. It’s less about managing the day-to-day and more about holding space. It’s less “do your homework” and more “I’m here if you need to talk.” It’s watching them take the reins, stumble, thrive, and figure out who they are out in the world.

Raising teens can stretch you like nothing else. One minute you’re answering deep life questions over late-night snacks, the next you’re trying not to lose it over eye rolls and slammed doors. It’s intense, raw, and beautiful—and it has a way of bringing your own stuff to the surface.

That’s why one of the greatest gifts we can give our kids—especially our teens—is our own healing.

Yes, the practical things matter: being involved, setting boundaries, driving them to practice, helping with homework. But underneath it all, the way we show up emotionally and mentally creates the atmosphere they grow up in.

When we do the work to heal—whether that’s addressing old wounds from our own childhoods, working through anxiety or perfectionism, or breaking free from unhelpful patterns—we stop handing our pain down. We give our kids a better version of us.

For me, one of the patterns I had to confront was my tendency to go silent when I was upset. I thought I was being calm, maybe even mature, by not saying anything in the heat of the moment. But what I’ve come to realize is that silence can feel like disconnection—and that disconnection can be just as loud as yelling.

It’s that time of year. Sunshine is showing up more often, the countdown to summer is on every whiteboard, and motivation is melting faster than a popsicle in July.

If you’ve got a high schooler—senior or not—chances are you’ve seen the signs: homework half-done, study habits slipping, and an overall vibe of “do I really have to?” You might think this kind of burnout is reserved for seniors, but let’s be real: end-of-year fatigue is an equal opportunity mood.

This season is a strange mix of exhaustion and celebration. The stakes feel high, but so do the hopes. And in between the eye rolls and late-night cramming and half-hearted goodbyes, there’s this wild, beautiful chance to help our teens build resilience and joy. We get to guide them not just toward a finish line, but toward becoming the kind of people who know how to keep going when things feel hard—and still find a way to laugh, connect, and live it up along the way.

So how do we help our teens stay the course, finish strong, and still enjoy these fleeting, memory-rich days of the school year?

Have you ever found yourself refreshing Life360 like it’s breaking news?
Or maybe you’ve played out every possible “what if” scenario in your head before your teen even pulls out of the driveway?

Yeah. Me too.

There’s a fine line between being a caring, attentive parent and being consumed by worry. And when that line gets blurry, it can start to take a toll—not just on our teens, but on us.

Are You Consumed With Worry?

Let’s be real: parenting teens is not for the faint of heart. They’re out in the world more. They’re making choices—some wise, some… learning opportunities. And our mama (or papa) hearts can feel like they’re being pulled in a hundred directions 💔.

We worry about their safety, their friends, their choices, their mental health, their driving, their phones, their future…
We check apps, track phones, scroll through texts, and lose sleep—because we love them.

But somewhere along the way, worry can take over.
And when that happens, we don’t just lose sleep—we start to lose joy 🌅.

Parenting teens comes with a unique and sometimes heartbreaking challenge: the realization that, at times, you will disappoint them. It’s inevitable. Whether it’s walking out of a store with your daughter disappointed because you decided not to buy her an uber-expensive prom dress, or telling your son that even though he doesn’t want to work his current summer job anymore, he needs to stick with it until he finds a new one, there will be moments when your teen looks at you with frustration, sadness, or even anger. And that feeling—the one that sits heavy in your chest, the one that makes you second-guess yourself—is the weight of disappointment. It’s inevitable. Whether it’s saying no to a party, or to buying their 20th Chipotle bowl this month, or refusing to buy them that trendy new thing that “everyone else has,” there will be moments when your teen looks at you with frustration, sadness, or even anger. And that feeling—the one that sits heavy in your chest, the one that makes you second-guess yourself—is the weight of disappointment.

But here’s the truth: we are no longer the fixers of their world but the guides through it. And sometimes, guiding them means letting them experience discomfort, frustration, or even sadness.

Parenting teenagers is a wild mix of holding on and letting go. We want to protect them from heartache, mistakes, and bad decisions, but we also know that real growth only happens when they step out and experience life on their own terms. It’s the art of allowing—allowing them to adventure, to fail, to try new things without us parents hovering too closely, trying to control every outcome. And let me tell you, it’s hard.