how much worry is too much worry?
Have you ever found yourself refreshing Life360 like it’s breaking news?
Or maybe you’ve played out every possible “what if” scenario in your head before your teen even pulls out of the driveway?
Yeah. Me too.
There’s a fine line between being a caring, attentive parent and being consumed by worry. And when that line gets blurry, it can start to take a toll—not just on our teens, but on us.
Are You Consumed With Worry?
Let’s be real: parenting teens is not for the faint of heart. They’re out in the world more. They’re making choices—some wise, some… learning opportunities. And our mama (or papa) hearts can feel like they’re being pulled in a hundred directions 💔.
We worry about their safety, their friends, their choices, their mental health, their driving, their phones, their future…
We check apps, track phones, scroll through texts, and lose sleep—because we love them.
But somewhere along the way, worry can take over.
And when that happens, we don’t just lose sleep—we start to lose joy 🌅.
Worrying Doesn’t Actually Keep Our Kids Safe
This one’s hard to swallow, but important to hear: worry doesn’t prevent bad things from happening.
Being wise? Yes.
Setting boundaries? Definitely.
Teaching life skills, building trust, having open conversations? Absolutely.
But worry in and of itself? It doesn’t add a layer of protection. If anything, it can rob us of peace and strain our connection with our teens. They start to feel watched instead of trusted. And we start to feel exhausted instead of present.
So… What Does a Healthy Balance Look Like?
It’s not about turning off all concern and going hands-off. That’s not love—that’s disengagement. But there’s a better middle ground. One that leaves room for both guidance and growth 🌱.
Here’s what I’m learning:
Check in—but don’t hover. Ask questions. Listen deeply. But also give them space to share in their own time.
Use tools wisely. Life360 and phone trackers can be helpful—until they become obsessive. Use them as a support, not a surveillance system.
Let them make mistakes. It’s terrifying, I know. But the only way they learn is by living. We don’t want to protect them from every failure—we want to walk with them through it.
Build connection over control. At the end of the day, what keeps kids safest is relationship. When they feel loved, seen, and safe with us, they’re more likely to come to us when they’re struggling.
Don’t Forget to Live Your Life, Too ✨
This might sound strange, but one of the best gifts we can give our teens is a parent who is living fully. When we model a life that includes joy, hobbies, rest, friendship, laughter, and purpose—we show them that life doesn’t end when you become a parent. We show them what emotional health looks like. We become more anchored—and less reactive.
So if you’re caught in a cycle of chronic worry, this is your gentle nudge: you don’t have to live there. You can trade fear for trust. Control for connection. Obsession for presence.
Your teen is growing. And so are you. Let’s give them (and ourselves) the space to do just that 💛.
