supporting my teen through the tough stuff… and knowing when to call them out
These last couple of weeks with my teen have been an emotional roller coaster, the kind where one minute your heart is breaking for them, and the next minute you’re so frustrated you could scream. Parenting a teen is not for the faint of heart, and when they’re going through something tough, it can feel like you’re riding every high and low right alongside them.
And as much as I want to jump in and fix it all and wrap her up, protect her, rescue her, I have learned (the hard way) that fixing is not what she needs from me most of the time.
What she needs is me.
My presence.
My support.
My calm.
My messy, human love.
She needs me to sit with her emotions without loading mine on top.
She needs me to listen without rushing in with solutions.
She needs me to hold space so she can actually feel what she’s feeling and work through it in her own time.
But here’s the part that’s true and not talked about enough:
There’s also a time……a very REAL, very important time when holding space isn’t enough.
Sometimes I have to call her out on her stuff.
Not because I want to be right.
Not because I’m annoyed (even though sometimes I am).
But because I love her too damn much not to.
I am her biggest supporter and her biggest protector.
That means cheering her on louder than anyone…
and it also means showing her blind spots she can’t see.
It means saying,
“Hey, I know you’re hurting, but you also need to look at how you’re showing up here.”
Or
“I love you, but this part right here? This needs your attention.”
It means helping her realize when someone isn’t treating her in a way that’s okay and reminding her she doesn’t have to accept that.
And honestly, when I’m fighting for her to see her worth, sometimes my passion gets the best of me. Sometimes my voice gets sharper. Sometimes my emotions come out strong.
Sometimes I’m not the perfectly calm, grounded mom I wish I were.
But that passion comes from the most deeply rooted place of love.
Because I want her to know, without question, that she is worthy, deserving, valuable, and capable of making choices that honor who she is and what she deserves.
I want her to slow down, reflect, and understand the gravity of the situation in front of her.
I want her to really see herself as the strong, beautiful, incredible young woman that I see.
Parenting teens is this constant dance:
Holding space when they need tenderness…
and calling them forward when they need truth.
It’s not perfect.
It’s messy.
It’s emotional.
And some days it feels like you’re stumbling your way through the dark.
But at the end of the day, love…… real love, lives in both places:
in the gentle support and in the honest mirror.
And that’s exactly where I’m standing with her:
right beside her, loving her fiercely, through every twist and turn of this roller coaster.
💬 Schedule a time with me and let’s create a calmer, more connected way to communicate — one that actually gets through.
💬 Reach out to connect — you don’t have to figure it out alone.
