it’s their journey - not ours
One of the most powerful truths I’ve learned from working with teens is this:
Their life is their journey to have.
Not the one we imagined for them.
Not the one that fits our norms, fears, or expectations.
Theirs.
And wow… that is so much easier to write than to live.
I’ve seen this play out over and over again in my sessions. So many of my teen clients struggle with the pull between their own dreams and desires and what their parents, families, or social norms expect of them. Being a teen is hard enough. Add the pressure to “make the right decisions,” “do the practical thing,” or “follow the family plan,” and the weight becomes overwhelming.
And here’s the heartbreaking part:
Many teens are terrified of making the wrong choice.
So they freeze.
They don’t decide at all.
They stay stuck.
And then they tell themselves they’re not good enough because they don’t know what to do.
The truth is, they won’t know what to do until they take steps forward.
That’s how clarity comes — through movement, not perfection.
In every session, I remind my clients gently:
“Your parents want the best for you. They want you to be happy, healthy, and fulfilled.
But only you know what that looks like.”
Or, in some cases,
your job right now is to keep taking steps until you figure it out.
Teens need space to explore.
Space to try.
Space to fail.
Space to become.
But they also need something else, something only we as parents can give:
Permission.
Permission to have a journey that looks different from ours.
Permission to chase a dream we don’t fully understand.
Permission to make mistakes without feeling like they’ve disappointed us.
Permission to trust themselves.
And this is where we have a choice:
Can we bite our tongue when every part of us wants to jump in, steer the ship, fix the problem, or reroute their path?
Can we allow them to explore?
To take chances?
To take risks?
To follow little nudges of curiosity?
To discover for themselves what they were put on this amazing earth to do?
It is not easy.
I know it personally, and I see it every single day in my work with families.
But here’s the promise:
When teens feel supported—not steered
seen—not shaped
trusted—not controlled
they blossom.
Their confidence grows.
Their decision-making strengthens.
Their sense of purpose takes root.
And they start building a life that feels right for them.
Because in the end, that’s the life they’ll have to live.
Not ours.
And our greatest gift as parents?
To walk beside them…
Not ahead of them.
Not behind them.
Beside them….
as they take the brave, beautiful steps toward who they are becoming.
If You’re Looking for Support
If you’re navigating this season with your teen and want support, either for them or for yourself, I’m here.
I help teens build confidence, clarity, and self-trust, and I support parents in learning how to guide without gripping too tightly.
If you’d like to connect, let’s set up a call. Sometimes one conversation can bring a whole lot of clarity to everyone involved.
💬 Schedule a time with me and let’s create a calmer, more connected way to communicate — one that actually gets through.
💬 Reach out to connect — you don’t have to figure it out alone.
