hiring your inner coach: changing the game with self-talk
If we were to record the way we talk to ourselves all day long, most of us would be shocked. We would never say half of those things to a friend, a co-worker, or even a stranger in line at the grocery store—yet we speak them to ourselves without a second thought.
Why are we so mean to ourselves?
Maybe it’s because we’ve been conditioned to believe that being hard on ourselves will push us to do better. Or maybe those critical voices are echoes of what we’ve picked up along the way—from culture, family, or past experiences. Whatever the reason, negative self-talk is like having an inner bully running the show. And it’s exhausting.
But here’s the good news: you don’t have to let that voice have the final say.
Step 1: Start Noticing
The first step is awareness. Start tuning in to the things you say to yourself throughout the day. Maybe it’s, “I’ll never figure this out,” or “I’m such a mess.” Just notice it. No judgment—just curiosity.
Step 2: Give It a Name
Sometimes it helps to take the sting out of those harsh words by naming your inner critic. Maybe yours is “Negative Nancy” or “Critical Carl.” When you name it, you separate you from the voice. It’s not the truth; it’s just one perspective.
Step 3: Hire Your Inner Coach
Now, imagine you have another voice inside you—the voice of your inner coach. This voice is encouraging, supportive, and honest in a helpful way. Your inner coach might say:
“You’ve done hard things before—you can do this too.”
“One mistake doesn’t erase your progress.”
“It’s okay to rest; you’re still worthy.”
The more you practice turning down the volume on the critic and turning up the coach, the easier it becomes to shift.
Step 4: Practice, Practice, Practice
Like any skill, kinder self-talk takes repetition. Some days will be easier than others, but every time you notice, name, and redirect your inner dialogue, you’re building a new mental muscle.
Final thought:
Your self-talk shapes the way you experience your life. If you want to change the game, start by changing the way you speak to yourself. You deserve a coach in your corner—not a critic.
Start today by noticing one negative thought and rewriting it with the voice of your inner coach. If you find yourself struggling, that’s okay—this is why I’m here. I’d love to help you practice turning down the inner critic and turning up the coach. Reach out and let’s walk this journey together.
