breaking free from autopilot: helping ourselves (and our teens) actually live life
95% of our life is lived on autopilot.
We wake up, go through the motions, check off the boxes, and repeat.
And our teens? They’re right there with us. They know the expectations:
Get great grades.
Excel in sports or extracurriculars.
Get into a good college.
Land the right internships.
Graduate.
Find the “dream job.”
Get married.
Start a family.
It’s like the script has already been written, and all they have to do is follow it.
But here’s the question: What if we stopped for a moment?
What if, instead of running through the checklist, we asked ourselves (and our teens):
What do I really want?
What’s important to me?
What am I curious about?
What actually brings me joy?
Am I making space for fun, for laughter, for friends and family?
Life can so easily become about the next goal, the next achievement, the next box checked. But when we live that way, we risk missing the actual living.
Imagine if we broke free from autopilot — even just a little. If we gave ourselves (and our kids) permission to take our foot off the gas, look around, and be present.
That might look like:
Encouraging our teen to try a new hobby just because it’s fun.
Letting them skip the extra class or tutoring session if it’s not really needed.
Creating time for unstructured family moments.
Reminding them (and ourselves) that life isn’t just about what’s next — it’s about what’s now.
When we step out of autopilot, we don’t lose momentum. We gain perspective. We discover joy. And maybe, just maybe, we help our teens see that their worth isn’t tied to constant achievement, but to who they are becoming along the way.
So here’s a gentle challenge: This week, pause. Ask yourself and your teen one simple question:
👉 What would bring me joy today?
And then — if possible — make space for it.
Because life isn’t just a to-do list. It’s meant to be experienced.
But I know sometimes slowing down and really reflecting on these questions can feel hard. If you find yourself stuck, or unsure of how to help your teen (or yourself) step off autopilot, that’s exactly why I’m here. Together, we can sort through the noise, create space for what matters most, and find practical ways to build more joy and connection into your family’s everyday life.
