a little note to myself (and maybe to you too)
Last week I was supposed to host my first group call.
I was excited in that quiet, proud way. The kind where you think, I’m actually doing this. I had spent time preparing, thinking about what I wanted to say, how I wanted people to feel when they logged off. I logged on early, coffee nearby, notes open.
And then… it didn’t work.
Something technical went wrong. I still don’t totally know what. I tried everything I could think of. Clicking. Refreshing. Logging out. Logging back in. Watching the minutes pass and feeling my chest get tighter by the second.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to throw my laptop. Mostly, I wanted time to rewind five minutes so I could somehow magically fix it.
But I couldn’t.
The call never happened.
After, I was so hard on myself….really hard on myself.
I replayed the moment over and over, thinking about what I should’ve done differently. How embarrassing it felt to care so much and have it fall apart anyway. That familiar voice showed up quickly — the one that says, You should know better.
I sat with that feeling longer than I needed to.
Eventually, though, something softened.
I realized: I did prepare. I did care. I did show up early and try. The thing that went wrong wasn’t a character flaw. It was a tech issue I hadn’t experienced before.
And honestly… mistakes happen.
That doesn’t mean I failed. It means I’m human and learning as I go.
I shared this with my teen clients.
Not because it was a great success story but because it wasn’t.
We talked about how fast our brains jump to self-blame when something doesn’t go as planned. How easy it is to turn one moment into a story about who we are. How caring deeply can make mistakes feel so much heavier.
And we talked about the skill of staying kind to yourself in those moments. Of saying, This didn’t work… and I’m still okay.
I could see it land.
Because teens don’t need perfect adults. They need adults who show them what it looks like to mess up and not turn against themselves.
And honestly, this feels true as a parent too.
Our teens are watching how we respond when things go wrong , not just how we respond to their mistakes, but our own. They’re learning what it looks like to handle disappointment, frustration, and self-doubt by watching us live it out in real time.
Every time we choose compassion over criticism with ourselves, we quietly teach them they can do the same.
That call didn’t happen.
But the lesson did.
I’ll host it again…..this week as a matter of fact!
And I’ll keep practicing this too…..staying on my own side, even when things don’t go as planned.
Reflection for you:
Where in your life could you offer yourself the same grace you’d want your teen to have when they mess up?
You don’t have to answer it perfectly.
Just notice what comes up. 💛
✨ You’re welcome to schedule a call with me to talk about what your teen is facing and how I can support both of you through this season.
