instant gratification vs. the muscle of becoming
I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately, with teens and their parents—about instant gratification.
And let’s be honest… it is pretty amazing.
You can order food on an app and 30 minutes later it’s at your door. Amazon delivers the same day. Entire seasons of shows can be binge‑watched in a weekend.
This is the world our teens have grown up in.
When Waiting Was Part of Life
When we were growing up, binge‑watching wasn’t a thing. You waited a full week for the next episode. Delayed gratification was built into everyday life, without us even realizing it.
Today, waiting is almost optional.
And that shift matters.
Where Teens Are Struggling
What I see in my work isn’t a lack of motivation or ability. Teens have big dreams and strong opinions about what they want for their lives.
Where they struggle is staying with something when:
Results aren’t immediate
Effort feels uncomfortable
Progress feels slow
They want the outcome but not the long, messy middle.
And when things don’t work quickly, doubt creeps in:
“Maybe this isn’t for me.”
Not because it isn’t. But because they haven’t yet built the muscle to keep going.
The Missing Muscle: Resilience
Resilience isn’t something teens are born with. It’s something that gets practiced.
In a world designed for speed and convenience, many teens haven’t had many chances to strengthen that muscle—learning how to:
Stay committed
Work through frustration
Keep taking steps forward without instant rewards
What We Can Teach Them Instead
One of the most important lessons we can model and reinforce is this:
The journey is the whole point.
Confidence is built while they practice. Clarity comes while they experiment. Growth happens while they struggle, adjust, and try again.
There is no shortcut that skips the becoming.
A Reframe for Parents
Delayed gratification isn’t about making life harder for our teens. It’s about helping them trust themselves.
It’s teaching:
You can do hard things
You don’t have to quit when it gets uncomfortable
Progress counts, even when it’s slow
Those lessons last far longer than any quick win.
A Reflection for You
As a parent, it’s natural to want to protect your teen from struggle.
But sometimes the most loving thing we can do is allow them to stay in the process long enough to discover their own strength.
Where might your teen need encouragement to keep going and not because the goal is wrong, but because the journey is doing its work?
If you’d like support navigating these conversations or helping your teen build resilience, confidence, and follow‑through…..I’d love to help!
✨ You’re welcome to schedule a call with me to talk about what your teen is facing and how I can support both of you through this season.
