give me control
Don’t we all wish we had more control sometimes? Well, I do!
When I am feeling hurt, scared, fearful or overwhelm the first thing I start to do unconsciously is to control everything and everyone. I start to force things to happen so it makes me feel better. But the truth is, it may feel better at that moment but the uncomfortable feelings always come back (usually stronger than they were minutes ago) and then I try to control more….and so the cycle keeps going until I consciously become aware of it and change my actions.
be silly, be weird
I challenge you today to Be Silly, Be Weird today.
I don’t know about you but sometimes I let my life get way too serious.
I totally forget to have fun, laugh, enjoy the moment. We owe it to ourselves to create time to be silly.
We owe it to our teens to see us be silly, act weird…..to let loose. They are watching and learning from us.
We have to be a reminder to our teens that it is normal to be themselves and to be silly and weird. That life is to have moments of seriousness and moments of fun.
reflection time
This time of year is my favorite! Not because of the holiday buzz and the many festive activities but because of the tradition I created for myself years ago. I have a night of reflection.
I carve out one evening in December, grab my journal, cozy up to the fire, with my cup of tea, and reflect on the past year and how I envision the upcoming year. I do it from the lens of me as the hero of my story. We are the heroes of our story but we tend to pick out the parts that did not go so well and I take this time to concentrate on all the things that did. And since I am the co-creator of my life it allows me to write the story as the hero of my journey.
parents….do you do this?
Not one ounce of self-love or compassion for yourself. As moms, we barely rest, we continue to push ourselves. We do all the things: laundry, dinner, disinfecting the house, and driving the children to activities. The list goes on and on.
searching for what is next
As I continue to coach teens, I also have opportunities to coach parents. In these last few weeks, I have seen a theme in the parents I am coaching.
It is the feeling of “bored” or each day looks like groundhogs day, One parent stated, “I feel like I am accomplishing a lot by the end of the day, but I am feeling totally unfulfilled. I know I am not living up to my full potential but I feel stuck and want a change in my life but not sure what that looks like.”
This is common for parents, especially now after we were just isolated at home with our kids for over a year, it gave us time to reflect and help us understand what is important to us.
It has helped us decide what we want to keep doing and what we would like to change.
no….that did not just happen
Parents love partnering with me as their teen’s life coach.
Parents are on-board with me getting the potential eye roll, look away, and/or disengagement. This allows the parents to do what they love best with their teen…..Be the mom, be the dad that just loves up on their child.
I get to be the person that shows up and asks the questions, suggests different perspectives, helps with friend issues or advice, supports with college selection, helps with understanding and managing emotions. I provide tools on how to not do the eye roll and look away, and actually communicate their feelings (even if it's hard for their parents to hear what they have to say). I provide encouragement, I got their back, I nudge them to go after what they truly want.
AND the best part is that parents get to do what they do best, which is love their teen and allow me to help their teen find their way!
rest gets a bad wrap
Our minds and bodies were not designed to go a mile a minute, non-stop.
School is a go-go-go type of atmosphere especially for teens when it comes to the end of a marking period. Teens have projects due, exams to prepare for, essays to write, after school activities, homework, and sport competitions.
let them fly
Let me tell you….it is hard to let our teens fly. It is hard to watch them fall at times, but I know deep down we need our teens to experience the life they want. Their desire will keep them motivated to pursue their dreams and enjoy the life they created instead of the life we wanted for them.
inspiring your teen by building your legacy
As parents, teens need us more than ever to be an example of what is possible. What I mean is: Start discovering or re-discovering what excites you, what inspires you, what lights you up…AND START DOING IT.
Life is awesome and sometimes it is not
I like to think about life as 50-50. 50% super awesome and 50% not so awesome. Some people like to think the 50-50 is the human experience, that we experience 50% positive emotion and 50% negative emotion. The human experience is meant to have contrast. How else would we be able to know what was super awesome if we didn’t experience not so awesome? The human experience has struggle, it is not supposed to be all rainbows and unicorns. I believe a ton of us are not even experiencing 50-50 but more so experiencing 80-20 or 90-10, more negative experiences then positive.