the boys are back in town
And our daughter has officially lost her only-child era.
They're home. The bags are dropped, the fridge is already half gone, and there is a smell coming from those dorm bins that I cannot fully describe but will say this — it has personality. A whole lot of it. Welcome back, boys.
My daughter, bless her heart, had a full year of being the only kid in the house. She had our undivided attention, the remote control, full access to the carr, and a level of peace and quiet she has never in her life experienced before. And now she is watching two brothers barrel back through the front door with questionable laundry, zero concept of personal space, and the audacity to act like they never left — and she is adjusting like a champ!
In all seriousness, watching all three of them find their footing in this new version of our family has been one of the unexpected joys of this season. The dynamic shifts. The house gets louder. Somebody is always in somebody else's way. And honestly? I missed every single bit of it.
Now, this first year of college was something else. Both of them grew in ways I genuinely couldn't have predicted. Different schools, different experiences, totally different paths, and yet they both came home standing a little taller. They studied hard, played hard, and collected some life lessons along the way that no parent could have taught them from the kitchen table. Those lessons only come from being on your own, living inside your own choices, and figuring out who you are when nobody who loves you is watching.
There are things you can only learn about yourself when you're the one who has to figure it out. That's not a failure of parenting, that's literally the whole point.
I really do believe that. The distance, as uncomfortable as it was at times, is where they started getting clear on who they are, what they want, and where God is taking them. Each of them was tested. Each of them grew in ways that were completely their own. And they both crossed the finish line of year one with more resilience, more self-awareness, and more confidence than they walked in with. That's everything.
This summer is already looking a little different than summers past. One son is heading to London in a few weeks: three weeks studying at LSE, which still doesn't feel real when I say it out loud. The other is off to Rochester, NY for a ten-week internship, stepping into the working world for real this time. Big things. Really big things.
But right now, we've got a few weeks where all five of us are under the same roof, and I am holding onto every single second of it. I'll be up late because their 10 p.m. is my 10 a.m. We'll run every errand together, overpreparing them for adventures they're more than ready for. We'll hit our favorite spots to eat, walk the dog more times than the dog actually needs, and somewhere in there we'll land on the couch together watching Ted Lasso reruns and weekend PGA golf and honestly that sounds like a perfect life to me.
Here's the thing nobody tells you about being a college parent: your kid is going to call you on a hard day. And then a rough weekend. And sometimes a hard stretch that lasts longer than you want it to. You will want to fix it so badly. You will lose sleep. You'll carry their worry right alongside your own and pretend you're not.
Just keep answering the phone. Keep listening. Keep reminding them they are loved and they will get through it. That's the whole job.
Because here's what I know on the other side of it: the kid who called you upset in October will come home in May filled with resilience, with new goals, with a sense of themselves they didn't have before. The hard parts were not a detour. The hard parts were the whole journey. And if you just stay steady and keep picking up, keep listening, keep pointing them back to what matters, you get to watch something really beautiful happen.
As parents, we don't get to take credit for any of it. But we do get to witness it. And I couldn't be more proud of every single one of my kids, the ones who just got home, and the one who held down the fort all year like an absolute champ.
Welcome home, boys. Your sister is happy you're back. She just needs a few days to fully admit it.
