teens don't need you to have all the answers. they just need you.
OK, full disclosure, I was binge-watching Bridgerton this weekend (no judgment, please). And in the middle of all that drama and gorgeous costuming, something was said to Violet Bridgerton that completely stopped me in my tracks.
“You don't need to have all the answers… they don't even need you to know half of them… they just need you to love them." - Mrs. Wilson
She was feeling the weight of having to be everything to her children, to have all the right answers, to guide every step, to fix every problem. And then someone said those words to her, and I immediately grabbed my phone to write them down. Because they are so true for every parent raising teens right now.
Here's what I know: our teenagers are craving our love. They are craving our connection. But maybe not in the way you think.
As parents, we often slip into "improvement mode" without even realizing it. We hand them the new David Goggins book because we want to inspire them. We put together workout routines because we care about their health. We talk about nutrition because we love them. And all of that? It comes from a beautiful place.
But here's what your teen is actually hearing: "You need to be better." And they are exhausted by it. They don't want to be fixed. They don't want to be optimized. They want to be enjoyed.
What real connection can look like with your teen:
Driving them to their favorite restaurant — no agenda, just tacos and conversation
Watching their favorite team play, even if you have to Google what offside means
Stepping into something they love — a game, a show, a hobby — and genuinely trying
Sitting on the couch together in comfortable silence
Laughing at something stupid on YouTube that they showed you
Being present without your phone, without advice, without a lesson plan
They are not looking for a life coach right now. They have Google for information. What they cannot get anywhere else — what only you can give them , is your presence. Your delight in who they are. The feeling that being around you is easy and safe and good.
So hang out with them. Without judgment. Without fixing. Without an agenda. Just be together in the most ordinary, unremarkable, beautiful way.
Because here's the thing that sneaks up on you: one day soon, they will be out of the house. And you will not wish you had given them more book recommendations. You will wish you had eaten more late-night bowls of cereal together on the kitchen counter.
Enjoy them now, exactly as they are.
That IS the answer.
👉 Want Real-Time Support? Schedule a Parent Pop-In Session: book your session
If you're craving support in connecting with your teen and want someone in your corner as you navigate it — I'd love to meet with you. A Parent Pop-In is a quick, real-time session just for you.
